


Darcy's (and Jane's) Worst Week

by Rozilla



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angry and Confused Darcy, Armed with a Fire Extinguisher, Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Spoilers, Awesome Darcy Lewis, BAMF Darcy, Darcy Feels, Darcy will protect Jane Foster at all costs, Darcy-centric, F/M, New Avengers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-01 20:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4033651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rozilla/pseuds/Rozilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jane suddenly develops a mystery illness and the Avengers seem to be ignoring her call for help, Darcy gets desperate.<br/>And really REALLY angry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It started with Jane throwing up about seven times before midday. Thor had been gone nearly three months, they had completed their 'World Tour' as Darcy called it (and it was- she'd travelled more in her time with Jane than she had in her whole life) and were back in Jane's Mom's London flat. They had yet to hear about the Nobel, but odds were it seemed to be in the bag. Jane would be celebrating were it not for the constant vomiting and chills.

'Dude, you're pregnant, just admit it,' Darcy went to wash out the bucket she had been holding as Jane was in no condition to move, let alone pour her own puke away. Jane just glared 'No, Darcy, I'm not.'

'You taken a test?'

'No.'

'Then-'

Jane sighed loudly 'The whole time Thor was here, I had a hormonal implant, which I had taken out a week after he left for Asgard.'

'Yeah, but what if he has, like, Space-God Super Sperm-'

'That's not how it works Darcy,' Jane rolled her eyes 'even if he did, the implant stopped me ovulating all together, so it would have no where to swim to.'

'Urgh,' Darcy winced 'thanks for the mental image.'

'You asked.'

'But why'd you take the implant out without putting a new one in?'

'It wasn't working for me, it was making me all head-achy and cranky, plus the thing itched my arm like crazy. Plus I'll need to get a whole new smear test to get a IUD put in which I haven't book yet and-' She stopped and gagged 'Oh God- pass the bucket.'

Chunder number eight happened, as did nine, ten, eleven- well into the afternoon, so Darcy didn't mention pregnancy again.

 

By day two, it was clear Jane couldn't keep anything down, not even water. Not only that, but she had gone deathly pale and was sweating profusely. Her glands had swollen, her lips cracked and her gaze unfocused.

'Jane, you're burning up!' Darcy placed the back of her hand on Jane's forehead.

''m cold,' Jane mumbled, wrapping her blanket tighter around her.

'There's no way in Hell you are going to be able to do that talk day after tomorrow.'

'No...' Jane protested, so feebly Darcy barely heard it.

'I'll call the University, you are not going any where.'

 

Day Three had Darcy fielding calls from the HR people at Greenwich Observatory.

'Yeah, I know it's short notice- listen buddy, you can come over if you don't believe me, but she's really sick right now. She called me 'Donny' earlier, I'm pretty sure she's hallucinating-'

Darcy jumped at the sound of a scream and came running, dropping the phone on the way and finding Jane curled up in a ball and sobbing 'Oh God.. it's gone... it's gone I know it's gone... 's all my fault... all me...'

'Jane?'

'It's in my skin, can't get it out....' Jane hissed, teeth ground together 'it won't leave me alone...'

Darcy ran forward and hauled Jane upright 'Okay, whatever you're imagining, it's not real, you're just sick and you'll get better!'

But Jane wouldn't listen, she cowered away and collapsed on the bed, still crying and holding herself, begging the Aether to leave her alone.

'Thor...' she was breathing hard 'you said it was gone... oh...'

Darcy left the room and found the phone on the ground, the HR guy calling 'Hello? Miss Lewis?'

Darcy picked it up and said 'Did you get all that?'

There was a pause '… Yes.'

'Still think she's in a fit state to do this talk?'

'… No,' he confessed 'but maybe in a week? We sold out in five minutes and they'll be disappointed-'

'Literally couldn't give less of a rat's ass right now, I'll call you if we can get another date.'

She hung up, feeling about five inches tall and just... completely useless, whilst Jane sobbed herself to an exhausted sleep.

'C'mon you big moron,' she muttered, up at the ceiling 'when're you coming back?'


	2. Chapter 2

Day Four, she had stopped crying, but was now almost completely non-responsive and barely moving. Darcy relented and called an ambulance.

'I have no idea what's wrong,' she quavered down the phone 'but please... I don't know what to do, she's not speaking, she's just... lying there!'

When they arrived, they couldn't get her to respond either- they shone a light in her eyes and she hardly reacted at all. As they hoisted her into the back of the ambulance, Darcy made a frantic call to Ian, who now worked at the Secret Avenger's Base with Erik.

'Hey, when you get this message, get Erik to call me, it's super freaking urgent and I... I have no idea what to do, babe, just... someone call me okay?'

She called Erik.

'Hey, Erik, it's Darcy, please call me back, Jane's really sick and I don't know what to do... just... call me okay?'

She took Jane's phone, opened it and found the secret line through to the Comms tower. A robotic female voice trilled 'Please state your security clearance code.'

Darcy cursed inwardly- even Jane had never got round to telling her it.

'Uh... Thor?' She tried, hopelessly.

'Code invalid. You have three more attempts.'

'ARRGH!'

'Code invalid. You have two more attempts.'

'Shit! Listen-'

'Code invalid. You have one attempt remaining.'

'This is Darcy Lewis, I am Doctor Foster's assistant and she's in critical condition at St. Thomas' Hospital just outside London Bridge, somebody please call me, or so help me God I will-'

'You have not attempts remaining and this line has now been disabled. If you have forgotten your code, a technician will reactivate your code and will be contacting you in approximately fourteen days. Good bye.'

Darcy nearly tossed the phone across the street in frustration and despair. Now what?

Late into the night of day four, they sent Jane straight to the ICU and hooked her up to a drip. All Darcy could do was wait, her leg bouncing as she sat on an uncomfortable plastic chair and spun her phone in her hand whilst they poked, prodded, ran blood tests and God only new what.

'Call me you dumb bastards,' she sang to herself 'just someone call me back...'

'Miss Lewis?'

She stared up, eyes red rimmed, into the face of Jane's doctor who looked pretty grave.

'I'm Doctor Shamshad, I've been assessing your...?'

'Boss slash friend,' Darcy waved a hand.

'Right.'

'How bad is it?' She asked, tensing.

'It's... unlike anything I've ever seen,' he looked at his notes 'her immune systems through the floor, she's had multiple organ failure- stomach, kidneys, pancreas... all in the space of an hour.'

'So...' Darcy's voice cracked 'I don't... uh... she was okay last week.'

'This happened in four days?'

She nodded, tears flowing freely 'She started throwing up, got a fever and... here she is.'

'We'll keep running tests,' he nodded grimly 'but... we'll keep you informed alright? Has she got any other family?'

'Her Mom's on a dig in China somewhere way outside cell-phone service,' Darcy sobbed 'and I've been trying to get through to her boyfriend's people for... hours now.'

'Her boyfriend's 'people'?' The doctor seemed incredulous 'Is he famous or something?'

She glared up at him 'That's Jane Foster, _doctor_ Jane Foster- you know? The famous astrophysicist slash astronomer slash tiny white Jewish female Neil DeGrasse-Tyson?'

The doctor's eyes widened 'You mean Thor's- oh.'

'Yeah,  _oh_ ,' Darcy mumbled, damply 'and no, I can't get through to him either. He's... elsewhere.'

'We'll do all we can,' Shamshad said, looking solemn 'but it may well be beyond us.'

 

'Hey, Chris!'

'What?'

'Got another desperate and pathetic mess on line two!'

The two SHIELD communications officers were monitoring the secure line. The number was more or less public knowledge, but only a select few had the actual codes to get through.

'Lemme guess,' Comms officer two, AKA Chris said 'another loser claiming to be pregnant by Thor? Or Captain America's long lost grand-kid?'

'Nothing quite as exciting,' Comms officer one, AKA Dan, loaded up the call 'probably just a fangirl, have a listen.'

_'Uh... Thor?'_

_'Code invalid. You have three more attempts.'_

_'ARRGH!'_

_'Code invalid. You have two more attempts.'_

_'Shit! Listen-'_

'Think we should call it in?'

_'Code invalid. You have one attempt remaining.'_

'Nah, trash it.'

_'This is Darcy Lewis-'_

Dan deleted the call.


	3. Chapter 3

Day Five saw Darcy wake up with her head slumped on Jane's bed, not even realising she had been asleep, and feeling hung over, despite not having drunk anything. She looked up at Jane, who was lying, motionless and hooked up to... all sorts. Her skin felt like paper, her breathing shallow and accompanied by the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor. Bits of the previous evening started coming back, including the last chat with the doctor she had before she passed out (what ever that was, it was not proper sleep). Even if Jane woke up, she would have to go on dialysis or get a couple of organ transplants. No one, not Ian, not Erik, not the Comms team at whatever secret Avenger's base, had called her back. Jane was dying and no one was coming to help.

Not even Thor.

So, desperate, tired and furious, Darcy made a decision. She took out her phone and, with the last of it's power (she had failed to grab a charger in their haste to leave), she tweeted, then Instagrammed a picture of Jane in the hospital.

Then waited.

Given that Darcy had over a hundred thousand followers, the image took less than an hour to go viral.

 

Maria Hill was not a woman to be crossed when angered. Nick Fury was calm in his anger, calculated, but Hill could explode with the best of them.

'Can someone please explain why Jane Foster is critically ill in a London Hospital and no one knew until now?!'

The Comms team looked at each other, each trying to assess the other for guilt.

'A picture was tweeted of a Nobel Prize nominee and noted scientist who _just_ _so_ _happens_ to be Thor's girlfriend, in need of a kidney transplant and god knows what else and it took less than a day for it to become headline news. Our PR people have been inundated and we're looking really _really_ incompetent right now.'

Still nothing.

'I've never really seen Thor angry,' Hill snarled 'but may I remind you of the time he tossed a Jeep a hundred yards? For fun? Can you _imagine_ what he'll do when he finds out we let his girlfriend die without offering our help?'

Still nothing.

'No one fielded a call from anyone? You _seriously_ expect me to be believe that?' Hill threw up her hands 'God's sake- okay, how about a Darcy Lewis? She's Foster's assistant, she shared the picture of her at the hospital, she came to our Christmas party _with_ Dr Foster? Ring any bells?'

After a moment a very, very sheepish pair of hands rose up.

'Hands up? What is this kindergarten?'

'Uh, ma'am?' Dan said, lowering his hand, then struggling to keep his head up 'I...uh... think we got a call that might have been related...'

''Might have'?' Maria repeated 'Show me.'

'We... moved it to trash, we-thought-it-was-a-prank-or-a-nutjob-' he plunged on.

'Restore it. NOW.'

 

Near the end of Day Five saw Jane flat-lining and the Doctors rushing in and only just re-starting her heart.

'I'm not sure what more we can do for her,' Shamshad looked run down 'we'll keep her alive as best we can, but... this is...'

'It's okay, thank you,' Darcy felt too exhausted to cry 'just... thank you.'

She collapsed into a chair as the doctors and nurses fussed around doing whatever it was they did. Darcy just... stared. How could she just let Jane die? How... what could she do? No one would help, no one... she looked up to the ceiling again.

'Thor,' she muttered 'get your ass back here or I swear to Christ I will taser you in the balls.'

 

 

She must've drifted off again, because she heard a warm, American accent, accompanied by a gentle shake of her shoulder, say her name rather urgently.

'Miss Lewis?'

'Hummplbe?' She said, prying her eyes open.

She gained focus and realised that the person shaking her awake was, in fact, Captain Fucking America. In the flesh. In his costume and everything. It took her a minute to make sense of it because she was sure she was dreaming, I mean, why the hell else would Captain America be shaking her awake _?_

'Miss Lewis,' he said again 'I'm sorry to wake you, but we're moving Jane to our medical facility and we need to leave now.'

Darcy darted awake 'What now? You're here?!'

She saw a group of doctors, all wearing the tell-tale A on their uniforms, gently reattaching Jane to a new series of machines and preparing to hoist her into what looked worryingly like a white coffin.

'She's not-'

'No, she isn't, that's something of Dr Cho's design,' Steve knelt by her 'Jane's going to be okay, but we need to go.'

'Cap, we're ready on the roof!'

Darcy turned to see another incredibly handsome man, tall, black, also American and wearing some rather nifty fighting gear and what looked to be a jet-pack. Sam, she remembered, the Falcon... oh man. She hadn't washed or changed her clothes in three days. On top of that; her eyes were bloodshot, she'd fallen asleep in her glasses, her mouth tasted like death, her limbs felt as though she had barely any control over them and her head was killing her. Why did she have to meet the two hottest superheroes in the Avengers (she didn't count Thor, he was taken) now?! Just her luck.

'Thanks, tell them to start the engines, we need to fly pretty fast.'

Darcy watched them lower Jane carefully into the contraption and close the top. She tried not to panic about it, she knew vaguely about Dr Cho's work and something called 'The Cradle', so this must be it right?

Once on the roof, Darcy shivered at the impact of the cold and the high wind whipped up by the quin-jet currently starting up. They moved Jane on first, at the direction of a Korean doctor Darcy recognised from the Christmas party.

'You next!' Sam called over the noise 'We'll get you settled in!'

Darcy made it onto the jet and took up a seat next to Steve, whilst Dr Cho checked Jane's vitals 'She stable, but we shouldn't push our luck. I need to get her to the Medical Wing within three hours at the very latest.'

'Right, we all strapped in?' Steve called, as Sam checked Darcy's harness.

'All set!' Sam headed off the jet 'Me and Vision'll fly alongside and make sure we're not being tailed.'

'I am ready on your command,' came a calm, British voice over the comms.

'Then let's get this bird in the air!'

 


	4. Chapter 4

Some small part of Darcy felt stupid for kicking up such a fuss. A really small part, but it was there- She ignored it; Jane was important. She'd do the same for Darcy, she was sure of it.

'You had any luck with Thor?' Steve asked, as the noise lulled enough for decent conversation.

'No,' Darcy shook her head 'strangely enough, there's no cell phone service on the other side of the universe.'

Steve nodded with a sigh 'Figures, we'll just have to hope he notices.'

'He will,' Darcy said 'well, he'd better.'

'I don't suppose,' Dr Cho asked 'you have any theories as to why this happened?'

Darcy shrugged 'I have no idea she just... she was sick, literally, then got worse and now...'

'It just seems rather odd,' Cho flicked through the chart with Jane's notes.

'No kidding,' Darcy tried to keep her eyes open 'I'm sorry... it's been a long day- days.'

'We'll get you settled in at the Base, Jane's in good hands, you go rest and have something to eat,' Steve put a hand on her shoulder 'I promise we'll look after her.'

'You better,' Darcy mumbled.

She watched Jane be carried away with Dr Cho and her team and just... let her go. She wanted to follow, but part of her just felt so exhausted and so not human that she allowed herself to be lead away to the living area reserved for 'special guests'.

She made it to her sleeping quarters, in and out of a hot shower, into a pair of Avengers Issue sweats (which she _would_ be stealing) and under the covers before she cried. Properly. Uninhibitedly. Loud, aching sobs until she drifted off into a proper, relieved sleep, hoping Jane really would be okay in the morning.

 

She felt a bit more with it in the morning of Day Six, scrubbing her teeth, washing and applying a bit of make up (she always carried a some of her basics in her purse), when she was greeted by two rather embarrassed young men dressed in SHIELD uniforms.

'Uh... can I help you?' Darcy asked.

'I'm Dan, this is Chris,' the older one indicated himself and his luckless colleague 'we are recruitment level communications agents and it was our fault that Dr Jane Foster nearly...'

'Died?' Darcy spat.

'...did not get the help she needed,' Dan continued, with a flinch 'Maria Hill has sent us to be your personal lackeys for the entirety of your stay with us as an apology.'

Darcy frowned at them, not entirely sure if this was a prank, then saw they carried a fresh set of sweats and her clothes, washed and pressed, as well as a cup of hot coffee.

'Come on in,' she stood aside and they came in, not meeting her gaze 'so... you guys have to do what I say?'

'Within reason-' Chris said, before he was elbowed by his co-worker 'I mean, yeah. Whatever you say.'

Darcy hummed 'That would be pretty awesome, sadly I'm not in a position to appreciate it, given that my friend is in critical condition.'

'Dr Foster is done in the Cradle and you can see her soon,' Dan explained 'but in the meantime, Dr Cho recommended you get something to eat.'

Darcy nodded 'Okay, do you guys have a cafeteria or something?'

'We do, with a hundred and fifty strong catering staff.'

'Is there pizza? Or anything resembling pizza?'

'Yeah,' Chris said, cautiously.

'Good, I want the greasiest, fattiest, cheesiest pizza that can be produced, with a stuffed crust, plus a frappachino with salted caramel and whipped cream and chocolate shavings and don't you _dare_ judge me, I nearly watched my friend die in front of me thanks to you two chuckle-heads. I need me some mother-fucking calories.'

They nodded their heads rapidly, looking about ready to leap if she so much as looked at them funny. 'Well? Hop to it, I want it back within half an hour, then I'm going to see Jane.'

They did as they were asked and Darcy waited on her meal, feeling a bit better for knowing Jane was at least on the mend. She was about to see if she could contact someone when another knock came. It was too soon to be her new lackeys, so she opened with caution to reveal Maria Hill, looking tired, but professional as always.

'Miss Lewis? Can I come in?'

'Sure, it's Darcy by the way, I feel like I'm in trouble when people call me that.'

'Okay,' Hill entered and sighed 'I cannot tell you how sorry I am for this.'

'Just... as long as you're looking after her now, I'll accept your apology.'

'We are, she's... healing. Quite rapidly actually. Dr Cho has used the Cradle to replace the damaged organs and the rest she's doing on her own which is... strange.'

'What do you mean?' Darcy frowned.

'I mean... she should not be healing quite so fast from multiple organ failure, even with the cradle. Dr Cho is... concerned. Slash dangerously excited.'

Darcy just threw her hands up 'Whatever, so long as she's getting better.'

'Well, that she is,' Hill pressed her lips together 'but we think we've pin pointed the cause of her illness.'

She was hesitating so much Darcy leaned in and rolled her hand in a 'get on with it' motion, something she would normally never DARE to do to Maria Hill 'Which is...?'

Hill took a breath and told her.

'Why am I always right,' Darcy sighed.

Darcy hoped Thor would never come back.

If he did, she would have to kill him.

 

Thor was bone weary, when he reappeared on the Bi-frost, but he had located and accounted for four out of six stones. The Tesseract was in the vaults, the Aether still in the possession of a being known as the Collector, the Orb was kept by Nova Prime and the Mind Stone was with Vision. That just left two more.

He decided not to think about it. That would be another challenge after he had eaten and had a proper bath. Travel had taken more of a toll than it had done in the past- back before he had the sense knocked into him. Literally.

'Thor.'

He had not really looked Heimdall in the eye since the Witch had dragged him into the Nightmare. He couldn't bare to risk seeing that dead, blank stare again. It still haunted his sleep. It didn't help that when he did look to the Gatekeeper, he saw his expression grave.

'What is it?' Thor asked, feeling fresh fear lend him energy.

'Is is Midgard,' Heimdall said, flatly.

'What now?' Thor groaned 'Has Stark let loose some new mechanical mad-man?'

But Heimdall shook his head.

'Go to Jane,' he whispered 'she is... in need of you.'

 

'Okay, how the hell does pregnancy do _this_?' Darcy sputtered.

'Well,' Dr Cho looked at her tablet 'a human pregnancy can make the body's immune system take a back seat so that it doesn't reject the embryo, but...' She pulled up Jane's vitals 'This isn't a fully human pregnancy, so whatever it was doing to lower her immune system went... overboard. It probably would've caused mild illness in someone of Thor's species, but not Jane.'

Along with the vitals, the display showed what was, indeed, the kidney-bean shape of an embryo, at about six weeks.

'But she said she was on birth control!' Darcy shouted 'It's been months since they slept together! How is this even-'

'What was she using?' Cho asked, calmly.

'A hormonal implant, she wasn't even ovulating! She only had it taken out after he had been gone for a week!'

'Maybe his sperm can last longer than a humans?' Hill suggested.

'It could've been lying in wait until a fertile egg _did_ come along-' Cho began.

Darcy shuddered 'So Thor's got immortal ninja sperm is what you're saying.'

'Well, until we have a better explanation,' Helen soothed 'it's all we've got.'

'But she's going to be okay now?' Darcy asked, with so many more questions she didn't even know where to start.

'Well, ironically, we think the pregnancy is helping her heal again, the contact with Thor's DNA... though how that's possible I'm not sure-'

'Perhaps it's part of helping the body adapt,' Hill shrugged 'maybe that's an Asgardian thing?'

'But... will she be okay for the rest of the pregnancy?' Darcy tried not to sob again 'I mean... if it's like this now, what's going to happen later?'

Cho was about to say something, when the whole base suddenly trembled, even so slightly, as if hit by a passing Earthquake.

'Looks like Daddy's home,' Hill mumbled.

'Oh good,' Darcy growled 'cause I'm about to kick his ass.'

 


	5. Chapter 5

Thor strode across the greenery, mind on fire, panic shaking his every limb. Steve was the first on the scene and ran to meet him 'Thor! Finally-'

'I need to see her,' he snarled, seeing red 'where's Jane?'

'She's in the medical wing, she's okay now... well- Hey!'

Thor nearly shoved him out the way and barged in past terrified personnel. Steve ran after him, calling his name, but Thor ploughed through doors and even walls, sounding alarms throughout the facility, causing the rest of the Avengers to come running.

'What the hell?!' Sam saw the holes carved by Thor's rampage 'Is that-'

'It is,' Steve put a hand on Sam's shoulder 'tell the rest of the team to stand down, he's just upset, we'll handle it before any more damage is done.'

' _Just_ upset?!' Rhodey's voice came over the coms 'You seeing this?!'

'Well, his girlfriend is sick.'

'Someone needs to disarm him before he kills someone,' Rhodey replied, getting a brain wave 'I suggest sending in Vision.'

 

Thor made it to medical, brandishing Mjolnir 'Where is Jane!' He roared 'If she is-'

Then the hammer was taken, ripped from his hand and pulled away. He looked up in fury to see Vision, holding it securely and staring at him. Wanda was by his side, powers at the ready.

'Hey ASSHOLE!'

A fire extinguisher hit him in the side of the head and Thor stopped, stunned. It didn't do any damage, but it hurt enough to get his attention. He turned to the source of the voice, to be greeted by Darcy, a picture of pure, unadulterated rage.

'Darcy,' he rasped, only to feel the extinguisher collide with his head again.

' _Don't_ call me Darcy! You are in some serious shit with me so do _not_ even talk to me!'

Thor slumped against the wall, denting it, and tried to regain his bearings, holding up a hand in surrender 'Please, stop, I just-'

'Where the _hell_ have you been?!' Darcy raised the weapon again 'You just ignore us for weeks? You just travelling around the universe, not even bothering to show up when your lady-love is fighting for her life, then you have the god-damned NERVE to start demanding stuff and kicking the walls in like _you're_ the only one who should be _angry_?!'

Thor stared in shock.

'Especially when it's your god-damned FAULT that she's in this mess!'

'I think,' Vision said, calmly floating forward, holding out the hammer, putting out a placating hand to Darcy 'an explanation is owed. To everyone.'

 

Thor held Mjolnir like a lifeline whilst Dr Cho explained everything- the pregnancy, her illness, the Cradle keeping her alive- whilst the rest of the team just looked on, not sure whether to feel sorry for him. He felt as though his heart had been pulled from his chest.

He'd done this. He'd nearly killed Jane.

He rather wished Darcy had hit him harder.

'I... had no idea,' his voice was cracking and he felt tears prick his eyes 'I... was too far from the Bi-frost, Heimdall couldn't reach me.'

'Well that's just great,' Darcy spat.

'I am... I am so sorry,' he shook with the force of a sob 'I didn't...'

'Hey, Thor,' Steve came forward 'look you didn't know, Darcy was just angry... she's been with Jane this whole time. She's just tired.'

Darcy snorted 'Sure.'

'I owe you so much,' Thor knelt at Darcy's feet 'I cannot tell you Darcy. You saved Jane.'

'It's neither the first, nor the last time,' Darcy rolled her eyes 'but... yeah I could get used to this.'

'Whatever you may ask of me,' Thor swore 'for Jane's life, I would give everything.'

'I'll think of something, but for now, I've got Tweedle dum and Tweedle dee filling in that job for me. Long story.'

'The point is,' Steve began 'Jane just needs time to heal, then... you two need to have a discussion.'

Darcy felt the anger ebb away at Thor's sad little nod 'I am sorry to all of you. I truly am.'

'C'mon,' Darcy relented 'I'll get my lackeys to get you a coffee, and maybe even a big-ass pizza. It helps, trust me.'

 

Day Seven, Jane finally stirred awake. Most of the internal damage was healing, but she was still mostly incoherent, only managing a few dry, croaky syllables. Thor took her hand, pressing his forehead to her's 'My love,' he sobbed 'you're awake?'

'Thor?' Her voice was weak 'What...'

'Darcy brought you here,' he shuddered in a teary breath 'you'll be alright, you must rest some more.'

'Where's Darcy?' Jane was drifting off again, as the medical team came running to check her vitals.

'She's not far,' he whispered 'sleep sweet Jane, heal, I'll be here.'

'Hey!' Darcy came running back 'That's my line! You're not getting the credit buddy!'

'Darcy...' Jane reached for her.

'Janie?' Darcy pushed past an unresisting Thor 'Don't scare me like that again!'

'Sorry,' Jane smiled weakly 'whass the matter?'

'Oh... you'll need to be properly awake for that,' Darcy sighed 'just get better okay? Or I'll quit and you'll never be able to work your phone again.'

''kay,' Jane slipped back into sleep, going limp again.

 

Thor just sat in a chair next to Jane's bed, motionless, refusing food and drink, just staring into the distance. Darcy had been sitting on the other side 'You can sleep you know,' she said, tossing a blanket onto his lap.

'I can't,' he replied, in a small, defeated voice.

'Well, I want you to sleep, you owe me. So sleep.'

He looked at her and smiled a little 'Alright, but wake me if-'

'D'uh,' Darcy laughed 'of course I will.'

'I know I have no right... after everything...'

'Yeah you do,' she sighed 'I was being... pissed. I'm sorry. I know you didn't mean to be away.'

'Still,' Thor's eyes were bloodshot and had virtually none of their life and easiness and smile 'I should... when she is able, I'll take her with me to Asgard. The healers there have experience with... child bearing.'

'It's not got that far yet,' Darcy pointed out 'it's the size of a walnut right now, there's... plenty of time to think about the options.'

Thor nodded 'If I have to end it... to save her life, then I will.'

'Okay,' Darcy nodded, tearfully 'but you kinda want to keep it?'

'What I want is of no consequence,' he said, firmly 'I will not stake her life for some slim hope-' He stopped himself 'but you are right. I have dreamed of being a father... I could not imagine anyone else being the mother.'

'Well, let's just see what Dr Cho says before we make a decision.'

She was grateful that he took that choice off her shoulders.

 

On the evening of the Seventh Day Jane woke properly, if weakly, opening her eyes and managing to take a little water and some green looking drink to give her some strength and mouth wash. Thor held her hand and kissed her cheek, stroking her hair, murmuring to her. Darcy held her other hand, careful of the IV in her skin.

'Hey,' Jane croaked 'what the hell happened?'

'Oh God,' Darcy managed 'where to even start?'

'Thor? You're back?'

'I am, I came as soon as I heard...'

'Heard what?'

'About your... illness my love.'

'Last I heard it was just the flu,' she looked at Darcy 'why am I laid out in hospital?'

'You're at the new Avenger's Base,' Darcy explained 'it's... been weird.'

'Weird's what we do,' Jane pointed out 'so, c'mon, one of you grow a backbone and tell me what happened.'

They took turns, with Jane listening carefully to both of them, expression blank. Even when it came to, arguably, the most pressing part. She said nothing.

'So... what'd you think?' Darcy asked, cautiously.

'I think....' Jane began, forming a sentence, before slumping into her pillows 'I think I want a bath. Then another bath. Then like... five more after that.'

'Um-' Darcy got up 'we can do that! Right?'

'Of course,' Thor leapt up 'anything for you Jane.'

'Can you two not?' Jane winced 'I'd rather the orderlies did it, I'm not up for my nearest and dearest giving me a non-sexy sponge bath.'

She made to get up, but Darcy stopped her 'Seriously, you're recovering from organ failure, why are you able to get up right now?'

'I don't know, but if I don't get up right now I'll kill somebody, I have _so_ much to do-'

'Oh my god...' Darcy growled 'what is _with_ you! You've been on the brink of death for the last week, screw your work, plus, did you miss the part where you're freaking _pregnant_!'

Jane stopped, taking deep breaths, trying to calm down. Thor leaned in to wrap his arms around her, the pressure soothing and holding her still 'Jane, have a bath, then I shall fetch Selvig to gather your work-'

'Thor!' Darcy snapped, but caught a look he gave her and frowned.

'When you have caught up on whatever you have missed,' Thor said, stroking her hair 'then we shall discuss... this.'

Jane relented 'Okay,' she nodded 'I uh... sure... okay...'

A couple of orderlies came by, both female, to take her to a sponge bath. Thor let go of her with extreme reluctance and he and Darcy went to a nearby balcony for some much needed fresh air. 'You are the _worst_ ,' Darcy groaned 'how's she meant to think about her... future, if she's distracted by work.'

'Because it will calm her,' Thor reasoned.

'Will it? Can you imagine how much has piled up?'

'You are her assistant are you not? You can help her.'

Darcy opened and shut her mouth a few times before glowering at him 'Like I've been doing every time you disappear off into the sky and don't come back?'

Thor nodded, lowering his head 'Yes.'

'It's not so much help, as keeping her semi-functioning,' Darcy reminded him.

'Indeed,' Thor agreed.

'So... now that she's carrying your child, you going to stick around for a while?'

'As soon as she is settled, when she has made her decision I will take her-'

'I thought you said Asgard was dangerous.'

'It is, but she is carrying a child of Asgard, it will not present as a human child, therefore she'll need to go to Eir and her healers.'

'I dunno,' Darcy waved a hand at the medical facilities 'they seem to be doing well so far. Look, just discuss this with Jane, see what she wants.'

'When she is in a fit state.'

'Yeah.... okay, I get it,' Darcy rolled her eyes 'I was throwing a life changing decision at her when she had just woken up from a several day coma and... she just wants to go back to the familiar. Point one to you buddy.'

'I did not think it would work,' Thor confessed, 'it was a gamble.'

'Well yes, but it worked and I should've known better than to expect Jane Foster, personal life avoider, to make such a monumental choice when she was barely awake. God, she can't even function without coffee. Idiot... me, not Jane.'

'Are we not both idiots?' Thor asked, flinching when she looked at him. Darcy marvelled in how much power she had gained over the last few days.

'If that's true, you're clearly the bigger idiot.'

'That has always gone without saying.'

 


	6. Chapter 6

There were so many messages, phone calls, emails and the like Darcy would never get through them in her own life time. She set the lackeys to work going through all of the ones she could gather and trying to pick out the ones that seemed important. The media calls were first and she issued statements, careful not to mention the pregnancy just yet. She said it was an underlying condition which Jane had been ignoring that had finally caught up with her, she had got a kidney donor at short notice and was now recovering at an Avenger's facility with Thor by her side. None of this was a lie, it was just... not all of the truth either.

Darcy's own social media accounts, twitter, facebook, Instagram, had all gained a thousand more followers over night. There were endless articles, thought pieces from puffed up bloggers, and plenty of speculation. Some kind, some not so much, some downright scary.

Screw 'em all, Darcy decided. Right in the ear. They can think what they like.

Selvig emerged from an underground facility not far from the base, horrified at all he had missed and in near tears when he saw Jane, pale, thin, but smiling and walking around. They hugged, gently and apologised to Darcy repeatedly.

'Everybody's kissing my ass today,' Darcy said, 'I could definitely get used to this.'

Ian even popped up for a long smooching session, apologising himself for not being around, but Darcy found it pretty easy to forgive him, given that he was, essentially, a human hamster- you couldn't stay mad at something so adorable.

'Who are these guys?' Ian asked of Lackey 1 and Lackey 2.

'Oh, they're my new personal indentured servants.'

'Not even interns?'

'Oh I might promote them if I'm feeling generous,' Darcy mused, watching them go through endless amounts of correspondence on a couple of laptops 'but not right now.'

'Want to grab a coffee and a chat?'

'God yes.'

 

'So how's Jane?' he asked, after they'd taken some seats near a window over looking the expanse of forest that surrounded the base.

'So much better, you'd never know she'd lost a kidney a few days ago, it's... kinda unnerving now that I think about it.'

'There's a rumour that she's-'

'Knocked up? Oh yeah, it's true,' Darcy pointed a finger 'but don't tell anyone okay? Anyone official. She still hasn't made up her mind about what she wants to do.'

'Right,' Ian nodded 'how're you?'

'Me? I'm good,' she smiled at him 'all the better for food, beds and some really hot people running around the facility- present company included obviously.'

Ian grinned back 'I figured, but honestly, how can I compete with Captain America? I mean really.'

'Eh, he had science to make him buff, we're not all that lucky,' she patted his hand 'but can I _please_ go on a date with him or Sam? Please?'

'Sure,' he laughed 'but only if I could go on one with Wanda... mostly to hang out with Vision. He's amazing!'

'I know right!'

It did feel good to laugh with someone, away from the insane nonsense going on around her, and she was utterly grateful to Ian for being so... flexible.

'I've gotta get back to the grindstone,' Ian looked at his phone 'we're building a new underground observatory to detect neutrinos- I'm sure Dr Foster will be keen to see it, it's a bit like the Super-Kamiokande and we are setting it up over three miles underground-'

'You tell her,' Darcy stopped him 'I'm really not in the mood for an info-dump, sorry, but yeah, Jane'll eat it up.'

'You go see her,' Ian got up to leave 'she always needs you around.'

'Don't I know it.'

 

Darcy stopped just outside the door to Jane's quarters when she heard her and Thor talking. She thought about walking away, but found herself staying to hear this out.

'I am staying,' Jane was saying 'I have so much still left to do here.'

'But Jane-'

'Dr Cho can take care of me, she kinda wants to study me anyway, I'm incubating the only real life, living example of a human-alien hybrid.'

'You _want_ to be a subject of study?'

'Of course!'

She heard Thor sigh deeply 'I would rather you came to Asgard.'

'I will, eventually, but you said yourself, there's something going on there. Something which, by the way, you still won't tell me,' Jane retorted, sounding rather annoyed.

'It's... I'm not sure you'd be safe knowing.'

'I'm better off in the dark? Seriously?'

'I don't know for sure myself.'

'Then just tell me what you suspect, at least give me that much, don't I deserve to know?'

'It's not that-'

'Well?'

Thor said nothing. Darcy strained to hear in the following silence, listening for any small indications of an unspoken conversation.

'You sure?' Jane mumbled.

'I cannot be, not yet, but... if I am right, you would not be safe on Midgard,' Thor replied, just as low.

'Doesn't sound like I'd be much safer on Asgard either,' Jane huffed 'but... yeah, I understand, but I'm still staying. At least until the baby's born.'

'And then?'

'Then... then we'll both go with you,' Jane's footsteps crossed the room 'once we know it's safe... then we'll stay. For good.'

Darcy's eyes widened.

'If you'll have us?'

'Jane, nothing would make me happier.'

'I get to live in the stars, amongst an advanced alien civilisation... I think I'm going to be pretty happy to.'

Darcy distinctly heard the sounds of face sucking. Gross.

'I will wrap up my life here, mostly, get my work off the ground, tie up as many lose ends as I can until I pop the little bastard out- don't look offended, I'm allowed to call it that. It did just cost me several vital organs.'

'True,' Thor sighed 'I... only wish it had not been this way.'

'What other way was it going to be? We're an unknown quantity, we always knew it was going to be difficult... this particular relationship was always going to come with a price.'

'It should not risk your life.'

'No, but what about all the times I seen you nearly die in my arms? Fairs fair.'

He laughed a little at that 'That is true... for all that I have tried to protect you from dangers from my world, you are the one who always tries to protect me.'

'See?' Jane's voice cracked only a little 'Look, I know you're feeling guilty for leaving, but I get that it's your duty. I only ask that you tell me before you leave and that you come back to me... one way or another. Even for a short while.'

'I always do do I not?'

'Yeah, well, try not to take so damned long next time, especially not now, you'll miss all the fun stuff- the cravings, heart burn, back ache, cankles, an Old-person's bladder... all fun stuff.'

'I shall not go for long... but I still need to get to the bottom of this.'

'I'll be pretty big by the time you get back y'know.'

'But just as beautiful.'

'Flatterer.'

Darcy decided now was a good time to knock and make her presence known 'Hey guys,' she announced.

'C'mon in,' Jane smiled at her, wiping her eyes 'I've made my decision.'

'You're keeping it and staying on Earth, I heard- don't give me shit for eavesdropping, I deserve some insight into what I'm going to have to deal with for the next few months.'

'Wouldn't dream of it,' Jane hugged her 'Godmother.'

'Hells yeah,' Darcy sighed 'so he's making a dash for it?'

'I have to,' Thor put a hand on her shoulder 'I shall entrust her and my unborn child to you, I can think of no other worthy of this task.'

'I figured,' Darcy rolled her eyes 'but I want you here for the birth.'

'Of course,' Thor hugged her, taking care not to crush her. Darcy relented, she could never resist the big guy 'and should anything happen, I will come straight back.'

'You have to keep an ear out this time, but we're staying at the facility this time at least until we get the all clear from Cho, so we're in good hands for now.'

'I'm glad,' Thor smiled 'and I shall stay for one more night to announce our happy news to our friends and to spend some more time with Jane, then I will leave tomorrow.'

'Wham bam thank you ma'am,' Darcy frowned 'I'm not entirely happy about this, but whatever, at least Jane's okay.'

Darcy spent most of the following evening collecting herself in her room. She felt the kind of relief that only came from making it out of the worst she'd seen in a long time. She'd survived two apocalypses, including Space Elves, now she'd survived her's and Jane's worst week in a long time. After washing her face, reapplying her make up and taking a deep, wobbling breath, she came out to join in the general merry making- drinks, food, games; her lackeys ran back and fourth with trays to her delight and she enjoyed herself. She didn't even make fun of Jane when she and Thor returned with a flushed face and her buttons not done up right. They deserved a little alone time.

 

After Thor left again, Jane threw herself back into her work, first rearranging the talk in Greenwich for two months time then, with Darcy's help crafting a way of telling the public exactly what happened. They opted for a talk on NPR, an odd choice, but Jane couldn't face the thought of anyone else.

'What're we going to tell them?' Darcy asked, preparing notes.

'The truth,' Jane said, simply.

'That you're pregnant with an alien love-child? Ho boy,' Darcy bit her lip 'this'll be... interesting.'

'Interesting's our thing though,' Jane pointed out.

'Yup.'

'Wouldn't have it any other way?'

Darcy looked at her with a grin 'Hell no.'

 


End file.
